The closest I’ve been to having an encounter with a stalker was at school. I met this boy who was a year below me (year 7) whilst waiting in the sick room for my mum to arrive and take me to the hospital for an injury. After a long while of sitting in silence, we eventually started talking. He asked me what form I was in an after telling him, he then asked me if I knew a girl called Louise, whom I did know because she was an acquaintance of who occasionally hung around my mates and me. He told me that he had a major crush on her since he first saw her and that he had asked her out several times despite her constant rejections. Ignoring her contempt for him, he continued to call her and send her love letters and presents. I asked him why he felt this way and he told me that it was because she looked like his ex-girlfriend and that he wasn’t going to give up until she agreed to go out with him.
At the time, I thought he was just plain strange, but looking back at that, I think there was more it to. It wasn’t Louise he couldn’t get over. But his ex-girlfriend. To be honest, I find this sort of mentality is pretty sad. At the end of the day, there’s a choice when a relationship finishes. You can either cry over that broken heart or re-cooperate. Unfortunately, some people choose the former option, probably because they can’t control their emotions, or don’t know how to deal with intense heartbreak and unrequited love. But why would someone be so desperate for love?? Are they lacking it at home or in their lives in general?? Do they believe that by pestering the one they like, it will lead to that person eventually saying yes, in the case of the boy I’d just mentioned? Speaking of the latter question, there is an element of selfishness to that kind of stalking. The stalker is clearly more concerned about gratifying their own needs and filling that void in their hearts, as opposed to thinking about the anxiety that they are causing to that person they are obsessed with. But to go to extremes such as sending threatening messages, bizarre gifts and disturbing phone calls in order to fill that void isn’t understandable, not to the sane mind anyway. Clearly stalkers of any type have a mental or personality disorder, such as erotomania and depression. So should we put all the blame on them for their actions, when they are not in the right mind to judge whether what he or she is doing is bad??
At the time, I thought he was just plain strange, but looking back at that, I think there was more it to. It wasn’t Louise he couldn’t get over. But his ex-girlfriend. To be honest, I find this sort of mentality is pretty sad. At the end of the day, there’s a choice when a relationship finishes. You can either cry over that broken heart or re-cooperate. Unfortunately, some people choose the former option, probably because they can’t control their emotions, or don’t know how to deal with intense heartbreak and unrequited love. But why would someone be so desperate for love?? Are they lacking it at home or in their lives in general?? Do they believe that by pestering the one they like, it will lead to that person eventually saying yes, in the case of the boy I’d just mentioned? Speaking of the latter question, there is an element of selfishness to that kind of stalking. The stalker is clearly more concerned about gratifying their own needs and filling that void in their hearts, as opposed to thinking about the anxiety that they are causing to that person they are obsessed with. But to go to extremes such as sending threatening messages, bizarre gifts and disturbing phone calls in order to fill that void isn’t understandable, not to the sane mind anyway. Clearly stalkers of any type have a mental or personality disorder, such as erotomania and depression. So should we put all the blame on them for their actions, when they are not in the right mind to judge whether what he or she is doing is bad??
No I don't think they deserve all the blame, however, it doesn't make the mental and physical harm they inflict on the person right.
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